Sex and the Emperor (1994)
Reviewed by: STSH on 2007-01-28
Summary: Pretty good sexy/gory historical
Narrated by Li Liyang (and the actor looks amazingly like Joey Wong !), court enunuch who was in fact only half-castrated, thus carrying the family's hope to continue the line. But "Little Li" bemoans his impotence, until one day he prevents one of the court ladies from falling by catching her by the boobs and, hey presto, no more impotence. She repeatedly and enthusiastically assists him with hiding the secret in a secure place ......

The main story, that of the young emporer's woeful love life, gradually takes over. Dozens of concubines, hundreds of chambermaids and servants, all available whenever he wishes, but the poor lad isn't happy. His first love is Guilian (Yung Hung), a pretty chambermaid, and the first woman he ever spied on in the bath. But she is too low to become the queen, and the Queen Mother (and she really is one MEAN mother - to find out why, watch Lover of the Last Empress) thinks her weak son should marry soon. He chooses the one Mother wants, then has a honeymoon with her, and seven other lovelies at the same time. But he's still unhappy. Guilian isn't there. She's been kidnapped by Li's boss, the eunuch with a foot-long tongue, and sold to a brothel.

In the unlikely event that the story so far bored you, the following scene would make it up. Julie Lee as Hongyi, the prostitutes' gym instructor, demonstrates some eye-popping gymnastics. The warning "don't try this at home" comes to mind..... Then Yuen King Tan introduces "the eight semi-devils", essential skills for pleasing men in bed.

The emperor decides to give up having a different girl every night, and goes in search of Guilian. Thus begins his decline......

Plenty of lush nudity and a fairly humorous touch in the first half, some distinctly gory bits with a much darker tone in the second, including a very graphic example of the consequences of unrestrained whoring. Far from uplifting by the end, but still well-photographed and racy enough to hold the interest the whole way through. Recommended for all but prudes and the squeamish.
Reviewer Score: 7