Men are “dumbbells”: slaves to women to be bought and sold and used by the superior sex as they see fit. However, a plaque exists that can release men from slavery and banish the evil Queen who forbids love.

The first TWINS EFFECT movie was a decent enough romp with a few enjoyable touches. The sequel, though, is a sequel in name only, and has absolutely nothing at all to do with the first film. This is a shame, as I was up for revisiting more lightweight vampire-bashing fun. Instead, the action shifts to an ancient fantasy setting with a frankly preposterous premise.

One thing that strikes the viewer right away is the lavish production. Quite simply, the film looks fantastic, and it’s obvious quite a bit of money was spent on it. It does feel as though the budget all went on the visuals, as the script is somewhat limp at times. As you would expect, there is an emphasis on special effects, and for the most part, they don’t disappoint, but the fight scenes are CGI’ed to death in what is now becoming as common a practice in Hong Kong cinema as it is in the west.

The leads, apart from the Twins themselves, are mostly unremarkable: Wilson Chen is entirely forgettable and Jaycee Chan plays the kind of overly earnest hero that begins to grate after a while, and both seem far too gawky to be given such prominent roles. As for the Twins, Charlene is intermittently irritating and Gillian is obviously stronger on the more physical aspects, but neither is pushed into unfamiliar territory. It’s only Tony Leung Ka-Fai, as a truly oddball sex-shifting character who really stays in the memory for longer than five minutes. Donnie Yen doesn’t do anything particularly memorable and Daniel Wu’s eunuch to the dark Queen will probably only be remembered for his massive (and I MEAN massive) hat.

And that’s really the problem with TWINS EFFECT II – it’s not bad at any point; it’s just really, really forgettable. Again, Jackie Chan is wheeled out to give a brief action cameo and again he actually distracts the viewer away from the rest of the material in his duel with Donnie Yen. The fight is enjoyable enough for fans of fantasy CGI, but when the action shifts back to the stars of the film, you do get the impression that the scene was shoehorned in to get more of an audience.

It’s ironic that a genre that’s supposed to be so imaginative usually ends up with so many samey devices like “chosen ones” and generic prophesies to be fulfilled, and TWINS EFFECT II falls into just about every cliched trap it can. Like so many blockbusters, it passes the time but is so lightweight it would fly up to the heavens with the slightest breeze.

It contains a few laughs, a couple of good effects, a bit of (slightly) post-teenage romance and angst and some lovely visuals. Apart from that, it’s sadly empty. Now, I never expected to ever write this, but I was really hoping for something like the Twins had done before.