Fist of the Golden Monkey (1980)
Reviewed by: Gaijin84 on 2017-10-16
Summary: Complete trash...
Elton Chong plays his usual hapless character who runs amok of some highly-skilled fighters and then must train in order to beat them. After harassing a female fighter and getting literally whipped, he follows her and spies on a secret meeting being held by the leader of the 8 Beasts (Eagle Han). They are trying to locate one of their former members who stole their secret manual. After they find Elton snooping around, they beat and humiliate him, after which he seeks out a master who will teach him kung fu. It turns out the master is the member who stole the manual, and before he is killed, he imparts the knowledge that looking at your reflection in the water while acting like a monkey is the key to learning his style. Thoroughly confused, Elton is left to figure this out on his own.

Without a doubt, this ranks in the top 5 worst kung fu films I’ve ever seen. It appears to have been filmed on the Korean coast during the height of summer, as everyone is sweating profusely during even the tamest scenes. It’s a virtual skeleton production, with only 11 cast members, virtually no sets and almost no story. All of the martial arts are sloppy and invented, and even the title (although most likely invented by Godfrey Ho), has nothing to do with the plot - there are no fists of any color monkey. Elton develops a ridiculous “crab style” of kung fu after watching a crab pinch a hapless snake almost in half and somehow uses it to beat all eight “beasts.” The only thing that saves this film from a 1 rating is a nice jumping kick that Elton performs where he manages to arch his leg over the top of his opponent’s head and kick him on the opposite side. Other than that, this was a complete waste of time.
Reviewer Score: 2