Golden Destroyers (1985)
Reviewed by: Gaijin84 on 2018-06-29
Summary: So bad it's hard to describe...
Golden Destroyers is a slight re-edit of a Thai film called "Hunt for the Golden Man" with spliced opening footage featuring Casanova Wong. As the previous review mentions, Wong does not appear anywhere else in the movie. The plot is unimportant, but involves a temple in Hong Kong that can reincarnate Shaolin monks into gold “robots” that do the temple leader’s bidding. An evil monk steals the Golden Destroyers and takes them to Thailand where he plans on using them to extract gold from a mine and then take over the country, due to the robots' indestructibility.

Needless to say, this film is absolutely terrible and I would agree with the previous reviewer that compares it to Fist of the Golden Monkey as the absolute pits. Unfortunately, the director decided to make the Golden Destroyers about as agile as you’d expect a 900 pound statue to be, so all the scenes they are in play like slow motion. The fights are laughable as a result, and the protagonists are so inept at dealing with statues that move at a snail’s pace that it’s frustrating to witness. Instead of walking casually away, they insist on barely moving out of their reach and then firing guns at them, even after telling each other that bullets are useless. It’s pointless to even try and make sense of this idiocy, so I’ll just recommend to avoid this film at all costs. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities.
Reviewer Score: 1