Five Element Ninjas (1982)
Reviewed by: Trigger on 2001-05-13
Summary: Worst Movie Ever.
This movie is a piece of crap. The sets were horrible... the original Star Trek had better sets. The weapons were cheap looking. There was no acting. Nothing interesting happens. I really can't understand why people want to praise this film.

I used to watch old school 70's and 80's kung fu on Sunday afternoons and 99% of that stuff was way better than this. This looks like it was made in 1965 as a joke. It's perhaps laughable, but there's no movie here. The story is garbage - what am I saying? There is no story. A 5 year old could've come up with a better plot. I had to watch this film dubbed, and the dubbing sounds like 2 college guys recorded it in their bathroom on a broken tape recorder. The fight scenes were uninteresting unless you're a total die-hard old-school kung-fu fan that likes nothing but katas.

I found it mind-numbingly boring and contrived and it doesn't even deserve to be called a movie. Give me a video camera and me and 2 of my drunk friends will make a better kung-fu movie in my back yard. This film is a piece of sh*t.

Rating: Movie - 0/10 - that's right - Zero. Actually - negative 5 for making me waste an hour of my life that I'll never get back.
Reviewer Score: 1