Shaolin Soccer (2001)
Reviewed by: resdog781 on 2002-06-03
Summary: Like Remember The Titans....but with Shaolin monks. And funny.
I don't remember a Stephen Chow movie where I've laughed this hard since....jesus. Probably "God Of Cookery."

But this isn't the "cocky mofo who gets humbled halfway through the movie" Stephen Chow I was used to seeing. This one is more like the "clearly dimwitted but charming and honestly well meaning" Stephen Chow, which is almost as fun to watch.

Chow plays a "post-graduate student" (read: TRASH COLLECTOR) of the Shaolin Temple looking for a way to spread the good word and convince people to start learning kung fu.

Ng Man Tat pulls in a fairly good and sympathetic performance as Golden Leg, a crippled ex soccer star who's looking for one last shot at glory, and revenge against Patrick Tse, who set up the "accident" that left Ng a cripple.

The two sad sacks meet up and suddenly, light bulbs go off: SHAOLIN KUNG FU + SOCCER = GREAT PROMOTION FOR SHAOLIN KUNG FU! Chow rounds up his old Shaolin brothers, and Ng coaches them to victory. But not without the prerequisite hilarity that comes from a bunch of ragtag aging/balding/fat guys learning to play soccer.

Patrick Tse just reminded me of Shih Kien from "Enter The Dragon" for some reason. He just walks into the room with the biggest sneer and swagger that you could tell he was the bad guy without a word of dialogue from the guy.

Vicky Zhao was a little wooden as Mui, and I could've done without the fact that they kept making her ugly as hell. But even with the acne makeup, you could tell that she's a cutie.

The Shaolin brothers were funny, if not completely developed as actual characters...the best one (as everybody already said) was the goalie who inexplicably became a dead ringer for Bruce Lee halfway through the movie. Right down to the "wiping the nose with the thumb" routine that Siu Lung did back in the day. :D Second best was the "Hooking Leg" one, who did kung-fu pommel-horse routines one the field. That was pretty badass.

And of course, the usual HK slang humor came into play, best one being Chow's "rap" at the end of the shaolin lounge singing performance :D I just HAD to rewind that after I saw it. Added bonus: That dude who dresses like a chick and is always picking his nose makes yet another appearance in this movie. Why the hell does Chow insist on having this guy in every movie...he's just so damn disturbing on so many different levels....

There were a few parodies I spotted, the most obvious ones being the "Thriller" dance sequence and the much more contrived "Saving Private Ryan" jab, complete with bullets whizzing by. And I'm sure they took the "soccer ball turning into a fireball" thing from NBA Jam or something...But I doubt it.

The only gripe I had with this movie was, as I expressed before, the lack of cockiness of Chow's character; strike that, the almost complete lack of ill-mannered, mean-spirited humor that was prevalent in movies like "God Of Cookery". This movie was almost....heartwarming.

But after seeing the piece of shit that was "Thirteen Ghosts" right before I saw this one, "heartwarming comedy" is a relief. Thumbs up.

Stay for the outtakes too....Why didn't the Stockbroker's cell phone call make it into the final cut?!? :D