Back Alley Princess (1973)
Reviewed by: pjshimmer on 2002-06-05
This is possibly the film with the most unrealisticly exagerrated storyline. Okay, I can take that EVERYONE thinks Polly Kuan is a MAN throughout the film, but that's not really the most patheticly unrealistic scene. Sure, it's a movie, but come on, let's have SOME BELIEVABLE elements, okay?

Basically, Samuel Hui has been hanging around Polly Kuan for 3 years (and he still thinks she is a man). They are poor people who rely on stealing and role playing to get some money. They get away with EVERYTHING. No matter how ridiculous the situation is, everything always runs smoothly. In fact, they are usually rewarded for their action. So they encounter more adventures. Polly Kuan does not know her parents, but she sure knows kung fu, as does just about everyone in the film (which is, of course, a MUST in 70s kung fu movies). It's a very light movie, and only one person dies (I'll let you guess which one). This is also perhaps the only thing I've seen from this period in which the hero does not kill the villain at the end. How rare and how heroicly noble (no sarcasm either).

All right now, I mentioned how smoothly things go here. Indeed, there is absolutely no consequence for any action from anyone. It's very common in old school movies (which is a serious flaw) but I've never seen it worse than here. For instance, Polly Kuan steals a cop's ticket book -- you really think the cop is just going to do nothing when he finds out? Another girl is supposed to spend a night with a fat client who gave her money, but she runs out while he's taking a shower -- how smart; he is a regular client at your workplace and I am SURE he is just going to do nothing when he comes out of that shower. Uhh more, Polly Kuan steals Lau Wing's wallet (let's not even think why). Not only does he act so friendly after 2 questions, he just gives her the money. Their conversation in the movie was like this:

Polly Kuan, "Please let me go, sir, I'm not a thief."

Lau Wing, "But you've stolen my wallet."

"I didn't steal it... I ONLY took $200 and was giving your wallet back to you" (which is true)

Lau Wing looks at his wallet, "Giving it back to me?" (now how stupid do you have to be to ask this?)

"Yeah, I only needed $200, and i would have felt really bad if I took the rest."

Lau WIng, "then why did you take my wallet?"

And then Polly Kuan makes up a pathetic story and cries.

Lau Wing, "okay okay stop crying. are you sure $200 is all you need?"

and of course from then on they become friends, and later he invites her to live in his "3-times-larger-than-the-white-house" mansion.

See how realistic that was?