Noodle Not for Eat (1996)
Reviewed by: STSH on 2004-01-24
Summary: Rather tasty !
I approached this film with caution. The cover makes very clear that the alternate title, The Head Noodle, is to be taken literally. But, as a loyal fan of sexy Chan Pooi Kei, I pressed on.

Much of this film is an enjoyable sex romp. Apart from one unpleasant scene, where Tin Hui is basically tortured by police to gain a drugs confession, the first hour or so is a pretty harmless mixture of amateurish fighting and rather good sex scenes.

What is most remarkable is the image quality. Although this is a cheapie, shot on video, the indoor scenes look terrific. Chan Pooi Kei is a gorgeous gal, but I've never seen her look better, with or without clothes. The skin tones of the actors look as real as if one were in the same room as them, which means the sex scenes (there are five) come across (so to speak) as almost real.

One thing is odd about the sex scenes. The first one is filmed to purposely avoid full frontal, the way such scenes are filmed in Japanese porn (non-AV, that is). The second sex scene starts that way as well. Then, for no apparent reason, Pooi Kei opens wide and shows all. Very odd. As though the filmmakers changed tack in the middle of a scene.

For a while, this film looks like a vehicle for Pooi Kei, which would be fine with me. But 34 minutes in, a couple more fem characters are introduced. The wife of Tin Hui's good friend, and her younger sister. The former, minor Japanese porn star Toho Mie, does a couple of nude scenes, including a very nice shower scene. Mie is skinny, and her ribs stick out, which in my view makes her less attractive. The latter, Cheung Ching Yung, has a fuller figure and is still sexy.

So, I hear you ask, what about the head noodle ? This part of the story relates to only two scenes. One occurs about 55 minutes in, and is quite gruesome. A character kills his ex-wife and young daughter, butchers them, puts them in the freezer, and adds the meat to the noodles. Perhaps not so much to satisfy a serious horror fan, but certainly gross enough to put this reviewer off eating noodles anywhere in Taiwan any time soon. The other scene is the one at the end, where corrupt Inspector Ho gets some of his comeuppance.

In between these two scenes, there is a rape scene which is pretty cruel. All in all, the last 40 minutes are on the nasty side.

Still, this film is better than the average porn, and even has aspects to recommend.
Reviewer Score: 7