Golden Destroyers
Golden Destroyers (1985)

Reviewed by: Gaijin84
Date: 06/29/2018
Summary: So bad it's hard to describe...

Golden Destroyers is a slight re-edit of a Thai film called "Hunt for the Golden Man" with spliced opening footage featuring Casanova Wong. As the previous review mentions, Wong does not appear anywhere else in the movie. The plot is unimportant, but involves a temple in Hong Kong that can reincarnate Shaolin monks into gold “robots” that do the temple leader’s bidding. An evil monk steals the Golden Destroyers and takes them to Thailand where he plans on using them to extract gold from a mine and then take over the country, due to the robots' indestructibility.

Needless to say, this film is absolutely terrible and I would agree with the previous reviewer that compares it to Fist of the Golden Monkey as the absolute pits. Unfortunately, the director decided to make the Golden Destroyers about as agile as you’d expect a 900 pound statue to be, so all the scenes they are in play like slow motion. The fights are laughable as a result, and the protagonists are so inept at dealing with statues that move at a snail’s pace that it’s frustrating to witness. Instead of walking casually away, they insist on barely moving out of their reach and then firing guns at them, even after telling each other that bullets are useless. It’s pointless to even try and make sense of this idiocy, so I’ll just recommend to avoid this film at all costs. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities.

Reviewer Score: 1

Reviewed by: Frank Lakatos
Date: 10/14/2005
Summary: This competes with Fists of the Golden Monkey........

Don't be fooled by the recent double feature DVD put out by the Brooklyn Zoo collection. Casanova Wong doesn't star in this movie. An excerpt of Casanova fighting the bronzemen from Rivals of the Silver Fox(1978) is used during the introduction credits of the movie. Besides that, an incredibly bad Sorapong Chatri Thai movie about Shaolin gold fighters takes up the disc, with the worst choreography ever. In fact, I haven't seen bad choreography in my life. The worst of the worst in HK kung fu movies can't compare to the choreography in the Thai half of the movie. To show unprofessionalism on IFD's part, the fighting sound effects in the Casanova footage doens't even match the Thai sound effects. What's unbelievable is that the Thai footage had a decent budget, being that is wa sshot in Hong Kong and in many weird sets. This competes with Fists of the Golden Monkey as being the worst kung fu movies ever made. It's so boring it's not worth watching for a laugh. 0/*****