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摩登女性 (1985)
The Barren Virgin

Reviewed by: j.crawford
Date: 02/16/2013
Summary: Stupid film; Stupid pelcula; du film stupide.

I'm speechless. Salacious smut on 35mm celluloid that you should not waste your time with.

Estoy sin palabras. Smut Salacious en celuloide de 35 mm que no se debe perder el tiempo con.

Je suis sans voix. Charbon salaces sur celluloïd 35mm que vous ne devriez pas perdre votre temps.

Reviewer Score: 2

Reviewed by: Brian Thibodeau
Date: 01/08/2008
Summary: THIS is a story about Mary. An innocent girl . . .

. . . or, The Subject Was Hymenoplasty! A "social disease" film in the fine tradition of U.S. roadshow exploitationers like DAMAGED LIVES (1933) and SEX MADNESS (1938) and MOM AND DAD (1945). In other words, a conservative moral issue fueled by ripe dialogue and fronting an endless parade of "square-up reels" on the part of both the characters and the filmmakers. In other words, sex, son, and lots of it!

The title's misleading though: there are actually two barren virgins put through the wringer here, both of them misunderstood and driven to sins of desperation by the harsh expectations of an unjust society. One, Kwai-len (Kim Gee-mei) is a Hong Kong divorcee with an impenetrable hymen who flees an abusive husband in Hong Kong to live in Japan with the other barren virgin (Lam Yue-kit), a close friend not coincidentally named Mary whose leaking vagina has her terrified that her fiancee's archconservative (and apparently clueless) Singaporean parents—and maybe even her fiancee—will think she's used goods on her wedding night. Quelle horreur!

Repping offense in this gynecological soap opera is Mary's friend Ruby (Heung Chuen-cheung), a likewise appropriately-named scarlet woman who models naked or nearly-naked with snakes, motorcycles, spearguns, banana-yellow surfboards and other phallic metaphors, and snacks on a buffet of promiscuous boyfriends, including one (Chan Kai-jun) who discovers a surprise package on a Caucasian tourist but doesn't let it spoil the fun!

The barren-esses, meanwhile, turn to the nightclub scene to raise the exorbitant cost of Mary's outpatient hymenoplasty, with Kwai-len substituting her "iron bar" hymen for Mary's less protective barrier right at the brink of nookie with a sleazy old fart.

Despite a Category II rating and distinctive lensing against often dramatic Japanese locales, the abundant toplessness and full frontal nudity here tend to mitigate against any pretense of social responsibility, which was probably the point to begin with. Marbled with the kind of stale, hokey comic relief that one expects from a film of this genre, regardless of country of origin, and the characters ultimately reap their just rewards, as they always have in films like these: some enjoy postnuptial frottage with their abstinent manly men, while others face the direst of consequences (thanks in part to a gweilo "transvertile") in a throwaway bit that reeks of prevailing ignorance about the subject.

But hey, tits galore! as David Friedman might say. And the opening credits—all three minutes, fifteen seconds of 'em—unspool over footage of the Main Street Electrical Parade at Tokyo Disneyland, almost as if to prophecy the innocence that will be lost soon after, but more likely because somebody wanted to get their home movies up on the big screen. The last 90 seconds of this film truly must be seen to be believed.

And remember. It could happen to you. And you. And YOU!

Reviewer Score: 7

Reviewed by: STSH
Date: 07/04/2000
Summary: Silly smutty soapie

Don't be fooled by the cover, promising much nudity. There is a lot of smutty talk here, and some fairly full-on medical discussion about gynaecological matters, but sexy Cat III this ain't !
The title refers to the lead character being unable to fully have sex due to an industrial strength ..... well, you know.
There are a few brief topless scenes, and one very discreet full nude scene, but most of the story is a silly and tasteless soap opera about three women trying to catch guys.
Given that the film starts with a wedding and finishes with two weddings (then a sex scene), it technically qualifies as a comedy. And much of the content, even of the serious medical stuff, is treated so lightly as to be comic.
On the upside, the opening sequence is stunning - a parade of huge glowing toys in Tokyo Disneyland, set to the most beautiful theme music.
Pity about the remainder !
And the final scene is a stunner. One of the most wildly overdone pieces of sexual imagery I've ever seen in HK cinema. A memorably awful end to a dreadfully disappointing failed skinflick.

Reviewer Score: 2